We recently celebrated our nation’s Independence Day. It’s been 245 years since we declared freedom from tyranny, taxation without representation, and bland menu items. Most of us, anyway—some waited a little longer.
The idea of independence is almost deified in the U.S., where we wrap our entire lives around a theology of sorts espousing freedom to say what we want, bear what we want, choose what we want, and on and on. In truth, I think the longing to be independent is just part of human nature, regardless of our citizenship.
We especially crave it as teenagers, often making boisterous declarations of independence from our parents, sometimes involving full-on rebellions in seeking freedom. Once obtained, though, the realization of no parental financial representation in young lives can be quite taxing.
Not to say independence is a bad thing. It’s often to be celebrated, as countless nations around the world commemorate those days annually. It’s what parents truly want for their children (despite trying to quell teenage rebellions). The idea of breaking away from corporate shackles for an independent venture is always admirable. And who doesn’t want to achieve part of the American Dream of being independently wealthy? Then there’s the 90s blockbuster that turned a Fresh Prince into a bona fide movie star and gave us one of the most rousing speeches ever, sitting near the top of alien invader movies—everything about it is awesome.
Independence is great.
Mostly.
Except when one person’s idea of independence bumps into another’s.
Or when it becomes very isolating.
Maybe the worst aspect is it often demonizes the idea of dependence.
Sure, that word often connotates bad things. Chemical dependencies are awful experiences. Being dependent on aid, whether a foreign nation or domestic individual, is not considered something aspirational to obtain. And someone who is co-dependent is typically stuck in some form of arrested development (the psychological term, not the vastly underappreciated TV show).
With those aspects and our glorification of independence, it's tempting to look at dependence as bad. What’s missed, though, is while it’s great being able to do things on our own, I think we’d be hard pressed to find anyone who’s ever completely done everything by themselves in getting to a place of success. We can’t help but depend on others to make it in life.
Maybe a better word is “Interdependence.” In my experiences, life is better being connected, realizing it’s OK to count on others for some things when we need it. Some may feel that makes us individually weaker, but it sure makes us stronger together, whether it’s asking a neighbor for help moving furniture, connecting somebody with a job opportunity, or coming alongside someone going through a tough time. Interdependence builds community and keeps egos in check.
As one of the wisest men ever once said:
“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their effort: if either of them falls down, one can help the other up, but pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them… though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not easily broken.”
If that’s not persuasive enough that sometimes too much independence is bad, maybe go watch Independence Day: Resurgence. That’ll surely convince you.
Comments