Mornings have typical welcoming certainties for me. A sunrise. Caffeinated warmth from a cup of coffee. A wagging tail at the sight of human companions as the dog rouses from slumbers. And a knife smeared with peanut butter at the bottom of the sink.
That last one doesn't fit. It is a morning certainty. But is never welcomed. Because the bottom of the sink is not where peanut butter-smeared knives belong.
That would be the drawer containing a utensil holder with a specifically carved out area for sharpened, serrated silverware. But only if it’s clean.
A peanut butter-smeared knife isn't clean.
Which means it goes in the utensil holder on the bottom rack of the dish washer. If you’re not familiar with what a dishwasher is—since apparently my teenagers are not—it's an appliance that makes all of your flatware, silverware, and drinking receptacles clean with only the push of a button.
There is another option, though, if you don’t have a dishwasher. Incredibly, you can also wash dishes by hand. If you’re not familiar with this concept—since apparently my teenagers are not—it's accomplished through using a scrub brush, dish soap and water.
Peanut butter-smeared knives are a little different, because they require a combination of both options. If you don’t get what I mean—because apparently my teenagers do not—this task is completed by putting the peanut butter-smeared knife (this seems to be the most challenging part) under running water, then wiping off the peanut butter. You can wipe it with said scrub brush, a paper towel, a sponge, or worst-case scenario, a finger. Preferably yours. Then place it in the dishwasher’s utensil holder.
This action is necessary because if you put a peanut butter-smeared knife into the dishwasher without wiping it off, two things will happen. One, the knife will not be clean as remnants of the smeared peanut butter will now be baked onto the metal, making it even harder to remove. And two, parents will become enraged at the sight of this when unloading the dishwasher.
This caking and baking occurs because of the same reason peanut butter gets lodged in the top of your mouth when eating a PB&J, Reece’s Cup or waffles and peanut butter (try it before judging): peanut butter is sticky.
The source of stickiness is the peanut oil from which it is made, as well as the protein it contains, and the ways those absorb moisture. There’s also something called supercritical fluid extraction that adds to its adhesiveness.
I don’t really know what supercritical fluid extraction means—apparently my teenagers don't either—but I’d be a little less agitated (and less concerned about chemistry homework) if they used that term while explaining why they didn’t clean the knife off and put it in the dishwasher instead of “I don’t know.” Of course, if they could just start cleaning off the peanut butter-smeared knife, I’d become fluidly extracted from being supercritical about stuff in the kitchen sink.
Honestly, I’m surprised they don’t just let the dog lick the peanut butter off the knife once they’re through with it. The only thing he loves more than human companions is peanut butter.
Comments